MotorCodingMama

Peas

2009-01-27T07:28:00.003-05:00

Sunday night Jasper COULD NOT EAT ENOUGH PEAS. She ate well during the day, and for dinner we had steak, tortellinis and peas. She started with about 1/4 or peas in a bowl - after eating a handful of them frozen. I blinked and they were gone. "More peas, please!" Another 1/4 cup - maybe 1/2 cup. Blink. Gone. She inhaled the rest of her food - almost as much as I was eating (which says either she ate a lot or I wasn't eating too much...) and then.... "More peas, please." This time I paid close attention. The child could not shovel them into her mouth fast enough. She tried a bigger spoon and the same thing. I guess her body wanted peas. In all I think she ate a whole cup of peas, maybe more.
Monday morning we're eating breakfast (NOT peas) and she heads to the bathroom. Guess what she pooped out? Yup, peas. Identifiable, whole, unchewed peas. Yum.

Today's Owies

2009-01-26T15:47:00.001-05:00

Here are all the muscles that hurt today

2009-01-10T08:28:00.002-05:00

Insert Foot In Mouth

2009-01-10T08:04:00.003-05:00

I'm taking a bootcamp fitness class this month. You know the kind where you get your sorry ass up out of bed at 4.30 am, stuff yourself into your sports bra, slog into the car, coffee in hand, and weave yourself to the meeting place. Can't be late - have to be there by 5.30 am or it cost you 20 pushups. Then you do crazy ass circuit training for an hour, where you can't swear (costs you 20 pushups), talk about donuts or twinkies (another 20 pushups) or have anything less than a chipper positive attitude (you got it - 20 pushups). Now I can handle them all but the last one - me being positive right now is kinda hard, ESPECIALLY AT 5.30 IN THE FRIGGIN MORNING WITH NO COFFEE AND DRIVING IN AN ICE STORM.
Excuse me while I do my pushups....
So the funny for today isn't really so funny, but it's just so gosh darn embarassing that I think it counts. There are 15 or so women in the class, excuse me, bootcamp. Most of them are Wellesley types, or at least look like Wellesley types: showered, did their hair, have designer, MATCHING outfits (yoga pants and high performance wicking tops with the bra built in), high end bags to hold their weights (oh yes, SEVERAL sets) and a well used Gaia yoga mat. Me? I'm in old running shorts and a ratty t-shirt (next week I'm only wearing my beer party shirts: "Hey, Where'd that beer bitch go?") Seriously, I'm the only dyke there and the only one with their knees showing. While I do have a Gaia yoga mat, it's so new it wants to stay rolled up and Jasper picked it out (with matching carry strap, thank you very much). Anyhoo, there is a woman, attired as above, looked to be about 6 months pregnant, maybe 7. I was impressed. You go girl! She's doing modified exercises, not going all out crazy, glowing instead of swearing like a pig. So I think hey - if SHE can do this, then so can I. Inspiring for 2 days. After day 3, at the end of class, she's leaning up against the table, rubbing her belly. Her designer high performance wicking shirt is clinging to her belly and you can even see her belly button has popped out. Maybe 8 months then? She's carressing her belly, so I say, "Hey! Anyone moving in there?" ... you know, kids sometimes get all endorphined up when Mom exercises... She looks at me and says....
Wait for it....
You know it's coming....
"I'm not pregnant."
Holy balls.

Chocolate

2009-01-05T17:23:00.003-05:00

Yesterday Jasper and I went to Old Navy. I have a gift card - acquired by the intelligent trading of points on my credit card for points at Old Navy. We got ourselves an armload of stuff and went to check out. We waited. We talked about being patient and waiting our turn. I had rather racist comments going through my grumpy head about white trash returning $5 Old Navy Holiday shirts AFTER the holidays. When it was finally our turn, Jasper helps me get the stuff on the counter, then holds out the card for the (very nice young) man checking us out. After she gave him the card, she looks at me and says, "Mama, he's chocolate!"

At which point everyone laughed and the holiday grumpies were dispelled.

Eau du Diet Coke

2009-01-02T09:30:00.003-05:00

Normally I'm against New Year's Resolutions. Normally I'm against setting oneself up for utter and dismal failure. Normally I don't drink soda in the morning. However, this morning something happened to make me reconsider. Slightly.

It's 16 degrees out - has been cold for a week now and will be cold for the next 4 months. Usually I keep a few bottles of water in the car, most half full. This morning I opened the back door to my car and discovered a back seat full of that dirty crusty snow that is caked under my car. WTF? Who put dirty snow in my car? Since I'm the only one IN my car most of the time it must have been me, but why would I do that? In the past I have been known to leave my windows open (leading to icky wet seats), but it's way too friggin' cold for that. I checked anyway - no open windows. WTF AGAIN?? Then I take a whiff. Smells sweet. I look around and see a frozen bottle of water, and a frozen half full bottle of Diet Pepsi. Hmmm. Wait - there it is. A Diet Coke can, split open right down the side. Oh good grief. I left a can of the stuff in my car overnight and now I have frozen, exploded Diet Coke crusted ALL OVER the back of my car. Stuck to the back of the seat. Stuck to the maps. Crusted on the door, the floor, the cup holder and the Elmo Bag. (For those of you who don't know, the Elmo Bag is a permanent fixture in my car. It holds snacks loved by preschoolers the world over: baggies of Cheerios, Kashi and Cereal Surprise, boxes of raisins, granola bars, carrots, little bottles of water, little juice boxes and OCCASSIONALLY some Lego Snacks) Because it was 16 degrees outside it was an easy cleanup - pick off the crust and ice and toss it outside. My car looks cleaner than it has in weeks. And it has a slight scent of Eau du Diet Coke.

Which leads me to me New Year's Idea. Not a Resolution. Not a Revolution. Not a Constitution or Absolution. Just a Thought. What if I identified and wrote about a little something funny that happens every day. Nothing Earth Shattering, just a little "Oh Good Grief". I'm desperate for an attitude adjustment so perhaps this will help. My apologies in advance if I offend, for surely I will, and if I forget a day, a week, or a month, for I'll surely do that, too. But for now I'll start with "Even if you think it won't explode - it will."
Later gaters.

Books That Would Have Helped

2008-10-03T16:11:00.002-04:00

A Tale of Two Lezzies
Alice's Adventures in Cumberland
Are you My Donor?
Cocks in Socks
Ellen Hatches the Egg
Farenheight $4.57
Great Expectations
Green Eggs and Sperm
Journey to the Center of the Ovum
Madame's Ovary
Moby's Dick
The Chronicles of Labia
The Cunt of Monte Cristo
The House of Seven Gonads
The Illeus and it's Oddessey
The Importance of Buying Ernest
Twas the Night Before Insemination
Twenty Thousand Sperms Under the Microscope
War and Squeege
War of the Wombs
Wuthering Dykes

TV Shows That Would Have Helped....

2008-10-03T16:03:00.003-04:00

Donor Knows Best
Dykes of Hazzard
Eight (Embryos) Is Enough
Happy Gays
Laverne and Spermy
Leave It To My Beaver
Magnum IUI
Star Trek: The Next Insemination
Stork & Cindy
The Three Spooges

I think I may need to be more specific....

2008-08-09T09:56:00.011-04:00

So the other day Jasper and I are getting dressed. Or rather, I'm getting dressed, making coffee, making breakfast, getting lunches together, getting bags together. Jasper is running around naked.
I tell her, "Jasper, go get some underwear and put it on."
"OK, Mama!" she tells me.
There is more running around, my room, her room, my room, her room. I hear drawers opening and closing, the closet door flung open. More running back and forth. I poke my head into her room, and Jasper has 5 pairs of her underwear out on her bed. She is arranging, fiddling, talking to her babies and singing some song about the weather and underwear.
"Jasper," I say, "Put on some underwear."
"OK, Mama!"
I'm half dressed myself. In the middle of the dishes I call out, "Jasper! Do you have your underwear on?"
"Yeah, Mama!"
I hear her in my room, so I go in to check it out. There she is, on my bed, with a pair of my underwear - you know, the one that comes in a pack of six that you know you're never going to wear but you keep anyway... just in case. That pair. And she's got them on, pulled up to her armpits, jumping on my bed, singing her underwear song. I love this kid.

Things That Suck

2008-07-31T15:00:00.001-04:00

Cramps.
Gas pains masquerading as cramps.
Cramps masquerading as gas pains.
Leg stubble while wearing tight jeans.
My cat meowing at 4.30 am.
My cat meowing at 5.30 am.
My cat meowing at 6.30 am.
Not having enough coffee to brew even a full cup.
Being lied to.
Being lied about.
Not being told the whole truth. Note – this may be different than being lied to, in some people’s minds.
Not having enough time with my daughter.
Being told my daughter is not my daughter.
Realizing that perhaps you made a mistake, a big one, a long time ago.
Realizing that people aren’t always who you think they are.
Realizing that people aren’t always who you want them to be.
Realizing that your expectaions might have been too high.
Understanding that I cannot will people to do the right thing.
Understanding that bad things sometimes happen to good people.
Accepting that some people will never accept you.
Accepting that while it may seem like a good idea to wax your armpits, in truth it hurt like hell. And it grows back.

Tired of All the Lies

2008-07-31T13:51:00.000-04:00

We all know what a lie is. It's when you say something that is not true, and you say it KNOWING that it is not true. Saying something that is not true, and WISHING REALLY REALLY HARD that it WAS true, does not make it true. It is still a lie. If you say something untrue, but didn't know it was untrue, then that maybe is not a lie. You're just wrong. So if I tell you that the dishes in the dishwasher are clean, and they aren't, but I thought they were - I don't consider this a lie, I'm just wrong. Oops. My apologies.

What if I neglect to tell you something - something important - and I don't tell you because if I do tell you, you'll get really upset with me. And I don't tell you knowing this, and also knowing that if I tell you or not, there's still a problem, or trouble ahead. Is that a lie? For example: I'm a teenager and my parents go out of town. My mother tells me, clearly tells me, that I am not allowed to go over to Ethel's house. While she is gone, I go over to Ethel's house, and I don't say anything to my parents. When they get back, I know that my mother will find out (because mothers find out EVERYTHING). I know that if I tell her, I'm in trouble. And if I don't tell her, and she finds out, then I'm in trouble. So I don't tell her. Have I lied? I did not speak an untruth. In fact, I'm thinking that by not telling her, I'm preventing myself from telling a lie. Some people will think that I have lied (in addition to disobeying my parents, which is a given) and some people will think that I did not lie. I can tell you what my parents think - I lied. And because I didn't fess up, I'm in more trouble - for disobeying AND lying. An omission of a truth, in their eyes, is a lie. And when I think about it, it is a lie in my eyes, too, no matter how I try to justify it.

Mmmphmm

2008-07-17T11:42:00.000-04:00

It’s July. It’s hot, and it’s sticky. The car I drive has been rechristened the Duct Tape car – because the roof, head shield and sunroof are held together with duct tape. What started out as a bad episode of Annoyance Theatre has become a reality series with its own following. Duct Tape Car needs new brakes, has a peculiar odor when it’s hot and sticky, has tires that do not wish to remain properly inflated and is in desperate need of an external power wash. Which I won’t do, for fear of leaks, which would increase and possibly alter for the worse the peculiar smell.

My house is big and empty. It sighs at night when I come home, glad for a human presence. The front room is empty, save for a window fan and the paint cans from my mother’s most recent painting chores. On the whole it is clean. A bit of Harold hair here and there, and sometimes some pollen. A small pile of unattended mail on the dining room table. Jasper’s room is sweet, but only really comes alive when she’s around. Her books are in neat piles on the shelves, and some scattered about where she left them the last time she was over. I can’t bear to put them away. The bathrooms have potties in them, packages of wipes on the floor. Unused bath toys in the corner. I can’t believe how much space there is in the medicine cabinet. I never realized how little product I used.

The kitchen has a remarkable lack of crud in “the dirtiest corner in the house”. My refrigerator is void of nearly everything that can be called a condiment. This morning I thought to myself that perhaps I needed to go to the grocery store, but outside of milk, cream and cat food, I couldn’t think of a thing to buy. My freezer, however, is jam packed. 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies which will still be there in January, 2 flavors of ice cream, meat meat and more meat, frozen potatoes, peas, carrots, beans, spinach. Note to self, get edamame. Jasper loves that. And more popsicles. And maybe freeze pops. I have a few spices now, not that I really use them. They are all blends. Chicago Steak Seasoning (makes even pasta taste like a fire grilled steak). Harley blend. Italian blend. Turkish Blend. 2 Emeril blends older than my daughter. Salt. I have my new knives out. I have a few new coffee mugs – thanks, Mom. Had to get new pots and pans, they hang mostly unused on the pot rack.

Upstairs hasn’t changed too much. Added a play kitchen and a doll house. Got 2 new chairs from IKEA. This time of year it’s either oppressively hot, or nice and cool from the one remaining working AC. The beer fridge is full of leftovers from the last Beer 101 party, and there’s Jagermeister in the freezer. Two guitars for Guitar Hero. Jasper claims the red one is hers and the black one is mine. I rock out late at night to Weezer and Rolling Stones and try to beat Slash in a battle. Jasper rocks out to Old MacDonald. There are fewer cat yak stains since Diva moved out, and definitely less cat hair. My office has moved downstairs, but only partly. I have some straightening and cleaning to do in that corner, but I’ll save that for another time.

My utility bills have decreased dramatically. Like by more than half. My mortgage doubled, though, but at least it’s all mine now. New bank account, new cable service, new credit cards. New legal bills. However, it’s nice managing my money, and mine alone. I always know how much I have (and don’t have) and there aren’t any more nasty surprises resulting in bounced checks. I have little in savings, enough for an emergency plane ticket, but not much else. Everything to the lawyers at this point, which is ridiculous, but more on that later.

A Few Things

2007-11-05T18:13:00.000-05:00

1. Jasper has just come home form a visit to Wisconsin. No, silly, she didn't go by herself, she went with Mommy, aka Jill. Here are photos and videos for your entertainment. WARNING: media contains Nakey Girl.

2. This chicken soup I'm eating right now is AMAZING. I'm sitting in The Druid, as I do most Monday evenings, having a quick bite before class. OH MY GOD, MAGNUM, this is good stuff. FRESHFRESHFRESH veggies, good chunks of chicken, great broth. I'm even eating the carrots. Usually I'm a potato leek soup kinda girl, but they were out tonight. Good thing!

3. My class. Awesome. Our grad show dates have been set. Monday, December 10 at 7pm, and Tuesday December 11 at 8.30. We don't have a name for ourselves - YET. Stay tuned, I'll share when I know. Here's a linky for Improv Boston. And, yes, you should come. The chances are high that you will see me foam at the mouth or at least spit with passion or anger.

4. The barkeep, a lovely lass, just called me "darlin'" for the 3rd time. Sometimes life is lovely, indeed.

Oh, THE CUTENESS

2007-10-30T10:07:00.001-04:00

New Jasper pix are up. Enjoy 2 Halloween previews as well as Jasper, leaves, and JasperInLeaves.

Am I Mama, or am I just Grace?

2007-10-16T13:38:00.000-04:00

As the legal recognition of the Mama-Jasper relationship continues to flounder in Nevernever Land, many have begun to question our status. Am I Jasper’s Mama, a full-fledged real and true legal parent to my kid, assuring both of us that our bond cannot be severed, that I will always be tied to her and she to me? Or am I just her biological mother’s ex-wife, a nice lady who helped conceive and deliver her into the world, who has no legal ties, obligations, responsibilities and privileges to her? Here in Massachusetts Jasper’s moms have the right to marry, and to legally adopt her to form a cohesive undisputable bond. When adoption does not happen, for whatever reason, there are two statuses that can be awarded / applied / assigned to the non-bio parent: de facto parent, and parent by estoppel. What the heck do these terms mean?

From the Massachusetts Bar Association:

De facto parent:
"A child may be a member of a nontraditional family in which he is parented by a legal parent and a de facto parent. A de facto parent is one who has no biological relation to the child, but has participated in the child's life as a member of the child's family. The de facto parent resides with the child and, with the consent and encouragement of the legal parent, performs a share of caretaking functions at least as great as the legal parent." Critical to the court’s determination of whether or not a non biological or legal parent is a de facto parent is whether a “disruption in the adult-child relationship is potentially harmful to the child’s best interest.” Furthermore, there is an American Law Institute Principle of Family Law that would require the non-biological or non-adoptive parent to have lived with the child for at least two years in order to qualify for de facto parent status.

Parent by estoppel:
A.H. v. M.P., 447 Mass. 828 (2006). A woman who never adopted the child of her same-sex partner, "although she was well aware of the importance of doing so," and was not the primary caretaker for the child, did not have a legal right to visitation or a support agreement as a "de facto parent." Further, the court declined to adopt a "parent by estoppel," theory as defined in the ALI Principles of the Law of Family Dissolution § 2.03 (2002). saying, in part, "the parent by estoppel principle is a most dramatic intrusion into the rights of fit parents to care for their child as they see fit." and "parent by estoppel status is most appropriate where "adoption is not legally available or possible.""

So what does this mean in the case of Jasper and Mama? I spoke with an attorney and she agreed that the legal landscape is murky, but had some definitive things to say about our situation. There is much evidence to support the de facto parent status for us. We had a commitment ceremony in 1998, before marriage was legal for us. Jill and I early on (1999 or 2000) signed co-parenting agreements that outlined our plans for building a family, and our wishes if our relationship ended. (It is interesting to note that these documents were signed when I was trying to get pregnant.) We bought a home together, equally, in 1999, with the goal of filling it with love and children. In 2003 we were legally married in Toronto, and that marriage became legal in May 2004 in Massachusetts. We took on all of our conception struggles and adventures together, equally, whether it was at home conception or through a medical practice specializing in the particular challenges of lesbian fertility. When Jill became pregnant with Jasper we attended all prenatal visits and classes together. I assisted in the delivery of our daughter (no, really, I pulled her out! It was amazing!). Jasper’s donor, a friend of ours, quickly signed documents surrendering his parental claims. With few exceptions, both of Jasper’s moms have been present at her pediatrician visits, her daycare events, and make decisions together about her health and well being.

Where things get muddled is in the degeneration of our marriage. Currently we would both say that we are separated. We still all live in the condo together, and it is on the market for sale. Our plan is to buy a two-family house so that Jill and I can have our separate spaces and repair and get on with our separate lives, while at the same time being close and completely available for Jasper. Because of the emotional turmoil of our split, I spend a bit of time out of the house – classes on Mondays and time away on the weekends. Jill has responded to the emotional upheaval in her own ways; one effect has been for her to cling more tightly to our daughter. We are trying to break this spiral, understanding that it is not good for any of us, and in particular for Jasper. I do not have the time that I want to spend with Jasper – and time where the three of are together is difficult, and Jill and I try to maintain even keels for Jasper.

Jasper will readily tell you that she has “TWO Mommies” as she tries to hold up two fingers. One legal, the other of unknown legal status. So where does that leave us? I have no idea, but hopefully we will figure it out amicably, and soon

References:
http://www.mlgba.org/pages/recent.php

MOUNTAIN!!!

2007-08-26T12:53:00.000-04:00

This week we do it.
Regular updates posted here!
Check it out.

40 is the new Pink

2007-08-13T18:36:00.000-04:00

If there is anyone out there reading this, I am turning 40 next week. Now, the big deal about this is that I have to renew my driver's license - and that means a new picture. When I last renewed my license, 5 years ago, I had the option of getting a new picture or using the last one. As I was having a bad hair day I chose to keep the old one. Which means my picture is nearly 10 years old. They won't let me keep this picture - don't know why, I look the same. OK, a few more grey hairs - which won't show up on a photo that tiny. But I have wicked bags under my eyes, and more chins than I really want! And I squint now when I smile. WTF?
So here's what I think I'll have to do - clearly I will have to go on a good hair day. (Good thing I just got a haircut - thanks, Richard!) I will also have to have a good night's sleep. AND be caffeinated. So that means maybe next Monday... but I'm always so stressed out on Mondays after being home on Sundays.... OK, Tuesday. No, wait, I have class on Monday night and I sometimes go out after that. Hmmm... well, then Wed.
OK, now what do I wear? I mean, I'm going to be looking at this crap for the next 5 years, so it should be something pretty decent. Something that shows my neck, that helps with the multiple chin thing. And nothing too light in color - then I'll look like every other washed out Irish gal.
Thoughts?

More Potty Talk

2007-08-06T10:48:00.000-04:00

Guess who has peed in the potty? Guess who points to her backside and says "poopies"? Guess who wants to sit on her potty whenever a mom sites on the big potty? Yup. You got it. Jaspertini the Toddler.
So the peeing thing is mostly luck. First thing in the morning, when a mom gets up, Jasper is plunked on the potty and a mom is plunked on the big pot. Lots of potty talk ensues (the good kind) and then the toddler pees. Probably because the mom is peeing and it's first thing in the morning and who DOESN'T have to pee that early. The potty is funny, because if ANY liquid or solid hits the bowl then it started to make music. Lots of exclamations, lots of "Good Job, Jappa!" Then comes the wiping. Also funny. When Jasper has a cold and we need to wipe her nose we ask her if she "needs a nose", or "let me get that nose". Sometimes we use kleenex if it's handy, other times we use toilet paper. Jasper calles toilet paper "nose" now. So when she's done on the potty, she points to the tp roll and says "Nose!" She gets one square, wipes herself (the other day she wiped her feet first... don't know what that was about...) then waves bye bye and flushes the toilet.
I'm sure many of you have experienced potty training funnies - now you get to listen to mine.

Family

2007-08-03T15:50:00.000-04:00

So what is Family? Lots of people are talking about this, the conservative right, the liberal left, my friends, my coworkers, my parents, cousins.

When I was a kid and people asked me about my Family I talked about my parents, my siblings, and maybe my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. Family was about some sort of blood connection, or marriage to some blood connection. Friends were separate entities and did not count as Family.

In high school I expanded that definition to include other people, not related by blood, who I considered Family - neighbors who were as parents to me, and their children who were as siblings. I was able to make this extension as a teen based on simple concepts of authority: I got in trouble with Mrs. B and she made me do some chores as punishment. Mrs. M treated me as an older responsible daughter. I interacted with the other kids as if they were my siblings - teasing, taunting, including and excluding them from activities like my own sisters and brother. So Family was about relationships, and in my youth Family relationships were about power and authority.

After college, and after a huge falling out with my own parents, I embraced a different concept of Family - a Chosen Family. Included were people who I loved and who loved me. People I would laugh with, fight with, and occasionally cry with. People I would travel to strange places with, people to whom I would trust my life, whether at the end of a rope, in a financial arrangement, or in some other threatening situation. Family to me became about trust and love, and not so much about power and authority and blood.

Years ago I met a beautiful person and fell ass over teakettle in love. We built a life together, bought a house, planned on children. We married in front of our Family, all definitions of Family. It was a time when our relationship and marriage was not always welcome, and I fought internal and external forces telling me that my Love was not part of my Family. We both struggled against these forces and finally arrived at a point where the people in our world, our Families, by blood and love, all saw our union as one of Family, and we were incorporated into each other's Families as well as any other.

Last year when people asked me about my Family I responded by talking about my wife and my new daughter. Though there might be raised eyebrows at this, there have been very few pointed comments to me that my child is not my child because I did not birth her. In our community there are many permutations of the child-parent family scenario. Biological kids, adopted kids, step kids, foster kids. One parent, two parents, three or four parents. All fall into the definition of Family, and for the first time I was able to expand my experience of Family to include being a parent.

This year I am experiencing another shift in my experience of Family, though not necessarily my definition. As I face the not so distant reality of living by myself, my daughter with me only part of the time, I feel a giant gaping hole opening up. I expected my Family to be myself, my wife, our kid, and possibly more kids. This will not be the case. Where I have experienced 40 years of expanding my Family, of expanding my capacity to love and be loved, I have only experienced this kind of loss at the death of a Family member, and never has it been so great, so huge, so terrifying as it is now. To compound the gaping hole there are legal questions at hand: is my kid really my kid? Given that I did not birth her, the second parent adoption process has stalled, and even with my name listed on her Cambridge, MA birth certificate, I am legally her mother? There are emotional questions at hand, too, questions I never thought contained an iota of valid logic, now rearing up like dementors to suck the happiness out of me.

As I face these questions and hurdles I ask myself, who is in my Family? My soon-to-be ex will always be in my Family, and that would be true even if we never had a child together. My daughter, the child of my soul, of my heart, of my sweat and tears if not of my blood, she will always be Family. Perhaps there will be others to come. Other friends not yet met who will become Family. Other Loves. Other children. So in the agonizing face of the contraction of the daily presence of my immediate Family, I can only know that my Family will, eventually, in time, expand again.

Nana Camp

2007-07-13T09:22:00.000-04:00

Who wouldn't want to go to Nana Camp? Mountains, explorations, blue shirts, Crocs - it's every kid's dream! And I'm sure there was ice cream after.... Here's more pix from the set on flickr

Car Update

2007-07-11T12:37:00.001-04:00

Ok, after driving and looking at a bunch of cars, and driving Jill's VUE while she was gone, I've decided I want a new or new-ish car. Problem is I don't know what I can afford. DOH! I'll know better after we sell the condo and move and things get settled, but I don't really want to get stuck in a car payment I can't afford for a car I fell in love/lust with... SL2 really needs a radiator, and the prospect of filling up the coolant fluid reservoir every morning is a crappy one. (Jasper, however, has proven herself a proficient toddler assistant and helps me open the water jug, holds the lid, and tells me where to pour the water. She is SOME HELP.) So I decided to replace the radiator and hope nothing else falls off in the near future. Fingers crossed, please.

On another topic, last weekend I saw 10,000 Maniacs at the Lowell Boardinghouse Park. Some of you may remember that I worked at Lowell National Historical Park while I was in grad school. Now there is a summer music series that has gotten more sophisticated and attracts bigger acts, all the while remaining a small, intimate outdoor venue. Linky here. The Maniacs were awesome. When they came out you could tell the crowd was collectively thinking, "How will THIS be without Natalie Merchant?" Well, it took new front singer Oskar Seville about 17 seconds to change our collective thought to "Natalie who?" SHe has a great range, a tenor that is similar to Natalie's, but the best part is NO ATTITUDE! Oskar played with the group, joked around with the audience - even came out INTO the audience while she was singing and playing. I remember seeing the Maniacs with Natalie Merchant inthe early 90's and she stopped the show at least once to yell at some fans in the front row. Whatever! Next I'm seeing Carbon Leaf this Friday and Indigo Girls in August. (yes, I have to see IG or Melissa Etheridge at least once every other year or I have to give my membership card back to DykesRUs and Lesbians NotSoAnonymous) Ah, memories of ArtPark when it was cool.

Car Shopping

2007-06-24T10:43:00.001-04:00

So I take the green car, 1995 Saturn SL2, to Saturn for an oil change. I tell them that I've also noticed that the windshield wipers have gremlins (they go on and off all by themselves - no controlling them at all) and the coolant fluid level light just went on. Ellen, who works in the service department at Saturn gives me the eye - you know that look - it's the "Oh, no. What else could be wrotng?" look. I give it right back to her. Yes, I just brought the car in because I blew out a tire on a curb. Yes, the last oil change included putting on a new front axle boot arm thingie that was wicked expensive. Yes, the car has almost 120,000 miles. Yes, please, can we keep it going until the spring, I really can't deal with this and everything else...

She comes back out in 30 minutes and heaves herself onto the couch next to me. Yup, needs a new radiator. $650. Yup, needs a new windshield assembly. $400. Nope, leaving the car windows open during the amazonian rainstorm didn't cause it. (phew) Brakes OK, clutch OK, everything else OK. They don't have the windshield assembly so I'll have to come back, but they can do the radiator today. It's that time in everyone's life when one's anthropomorphic sense of guilt can overwhelm one when deciding to euthanize a car.

Hmmm. Think quick. The green car is in Jill's name, and it will be traded in for a laughable amount, or it will be donated. Jill and Jasper leave Friday morning for a week in Wisconsin - she'll need to sign the car over to me. While she's gone I can drive the Vue, so maybe I can limp along for a bit. I ask Ellen how long I have and she suggests maybe a week before the radiator completely self destructs. Great. Think again. Next week I'll be PMS bitch from hell - not a good week to make decisions, because I'll drive off a car lot driving a Mini Cooper, Toyota FJ or any number of other idiotic, though fun, car choices. OK, I should start looking now, see what I find, and if I don't find anything great then I still have a few weeks. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and I can just ride my motorcycle for a bit.

Saturn has a 2002 Vue, 6 cyl. AWD. ORANGE. Cool. I make an appointment to go back Sat afternoon to take it for a spin. I also decide to take a look at the Honda Element and Honda Fit. DOn't have any other options, but there's a million dealerships on Rt. 1, I can just stop at them all.

The Vue is fine. Just like the one Jill drives, feels totally familiar. It has 62,000 miles, but is only $11000. It will get me through the next few years. The Element is out (sadly) because I can't get a baby seat in it in a way that makes me comfortable. Too bad, because you can get it in a modely that is almost completely washable - all rubber plastic all over. Great for me, great for messy kid. The Fit is also out because I can't adjust the driver's seat so I can see over the hood. WTF? Otherwise I loved it. While I'm at that dealer I see a few Scions. They are cute. I like the xB - really boxy, funky. They had a green one - wicked green - like M&Ms. It was a standard, so it was right out. However, they have a fun blue one in the showroom - 2006, pretty punked out, less than 10,000 miles for $16,000. Hmmm. A bit more than I was thinking, but might be workable. I'll take that for a drive Sun.

Also stopped to look at Subaru - nothing jumped out. Nothing else jumped out anywhere else - except this big burly dude who was pissed at me for staying on the phone with my mother while walking around the lot. Like he is more important. (Thanks, Mom, for being my shield against moronic and slightly scary used car sales freaks) As I drove out of the lot, still on the phone he gave me such a look! Like scaring me into buying a car from him is a good idea!

So today I'm going to drive the Scion. This is what it looks like, though it's not this exact car.

This is the Orange Vue

Final Note: Jasper and I went to the grocery store this morning. On our way home I noticed the Low Coolant Fluid light on. I might have less than a week....

I Just Can't Stand It!!!

2007-06-21T21:18:00.000-04:00

Easy Reader Rocks. Check out Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno:

And this one also killed me - Stockard Channing! Be still my heart....

Potty Talk

2007-06-21T14:21:00.000-04:00

OK, so 15 months might be a bit early for potty training. But this kid has been saying and signing "diaper change" (which comes out like "diapah cheeeee") for months now, and every time she says it, she needs it. She now says it WHILE she's peeing, an interesting development. Earlier this week she was getting ready for her bath, a process that involves throwing a bunch of toys into the tub, watching it fill up with water, stripping down the kid, and at the LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT, taking off her diaper. Why wait until the LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT? Because watching lots of water flowing into the tub makes this little girl's bladder kick in and she pees. I figure if she's covered while watching the tub fill up, then we're good. If I whip off her diaper and plunk her into the tub and then she pees, well, urine is sterile. This particular night, she was diaper-less watching the tub fill, and started to pee. This is interesting stuff, so Jasper was watching as she peed. Jill caught it quick and scooped her up and plopped her on the toilet. Fascinated, Jasper watched herself pee into the toilet. Excellent! Great Job! All of the appropriate accolades were pulled out. First time a kid pees in the potty is a cool thing. (and I missed it... ) Peeing done, Jasper is in the tub, having good clean fun. After only a few minutes she starts saying "all done", or rather "ALL DONE! ALL DONE! ALL DONE!" OK, so she's done with her bath, out she comes, gets all toweled off, puts on her lotion, and runs around for some post-bath naked time. We all need post-bath naked time. What does she do? Runs around for a few seconds, then stops dead in her tracks in the kitchen and poops right in front of the fridge. Guess she was ALL DONE with her bath because she was NOT ALL DONE on the toilet. Next, she checks out her creation, notices that she has a new ball, and starts to kick it. Nice. The next star in Bend It Like Beckham is my kid, the Sooper Pooper.

This week's plan

2007-06-17T11:41:00.000-04:00

Here is Jasper in Uncle Steve's favorite shirt. Note that she is also wearing her hat from Ofa's alma mater, St. Bonaventure University. And she's sitting in her pimped out ride, having a swig of cool water.

Today is Sunday. SUNNY. Should be at the beach, but instead I'm sitting her in front of my computer, having my coffee and listening to Carbon Leaf on iTunes.
I should also clean and pack some stuff.
This evening I'm hanging with my Improv classmates. We just finished level 3, and Improv Boston is having open auditions this week. Most of us are auditioning, and mostly for shits and grins and experience. We'll get together for a few hours, play, remember not to ask questions, to say YES, AND... , think "if this is true, what else is true", and get out of Brent's way when he flings himself across the stage. OH, and today is Father's Day, so I have to remember to call Ofa....
Monday is training day @ Ionia, and IB auditions. Jasper also has her 15 month check up. She's 23+ lbs - ooof. Slowly building up my biceps and triceps. This week she went down the slide all by herself at daycare. Go Bug! She is singing and dancing more - though she has a way to go to keep up with the Feldman cousin.... he can bust a mean move, that Seamus.

Like you all really want to know what I'm up to...

2007-06-17T11:08:00.001-04:00

Succumbed to sibling pressure.
Resurrected Blog. Changed Name. Changed theme. Perhaps I'll write more here now? If you all comment then I'll write more.