Tired of All the Lies

We all know what a lie is. It's when you say something that is not true, and you say it KNOWING that it is not true. Saying something that is not true, and WISHING REALLY REALLY HARD that it WAS true, does not make it true. It is still a lie. If you say something untrue, but didn't know it was untrue, then that maybe is not a lie. You're just wrong. So if I tell you that the dishes in the dishwasher are clean, and they aren't, but I thought they were - I don't consider this a lie, I'm just wrong. Oops. My apologies.

What if I neglect to tell you something - something important - and I don't tell you because if I do tell you, you'll get really upset with me. And I don't tell you knowing this, and also knowing that if I tell you or not, there's still a problem, or trouble ahead. Is that a lie? For example: I'm a teenager and my parents go out of town. My mother tells me, clearly tells me, that I am not allowed to go over to Ethel's house. While she is gone, I go over to Ethel's house, and I don't say anything to my parents. When they get back, I know that my mother will find out (because mothers find out EVERYTHING). I know that if I tell her, I'm in trouble. And if I don't tell her, and she finds out, then I'm in trouble. So I don't tell her. Have I lied? I did not speak an untruth. In fact, I'm thinking that by not telling her, I'm preventing myself from telling a lie. Some people will think that I have lied (in addition to disobeying my parents, which is a given) and some people will think that I did not lie. I can tell you what my parents think - I lied. And because I didn't fess up, I'm in more trouble - for disobeying AND lying. An omission of a truth, in their eyes, is a lie. And when I think about it, it is a lie in my eyes, too, no matter how I try to justify it.